A recent email from a hybrid publisher informing me that their roster is full until spring of 2022 (and counting), and that the cost of their services was higher than the year before, propelled me down the rabbit hole of self-recrimination. Why hadn’t I sent the manuscript the year before when I had originally intended to. What if the waiting and the rewriting hadn’t been worth it?
Inspired by an exercise given by Tara Brach in her recent online compassion challenge, I asked my wise self for help. And this is what she responded.
Dear Jenny,
Human time is fear-based. It’s all about control and commodification. Containing. Maximizing productivity. It is tied to competition, scarcity, and “never enough.”
Divine timing is based on trust and flow. Knowing in your bones that things couldn’t be any other way than they are. Divine timing is perfect. The rest is all fear.
It’s impossible to miss the boat. You are the boat. It’s not your job to make things happen or get it right. There’s no way to make a mistake.
Your job is to show up. To hold with tenderness the parts of you that are terrified, and/or resistant. To explore, unflinchingly, playfully, the wounds that are wanting healing around the conditioned fear of getting it wrong. To remember that your soul is on a much bigger journey than your human mind can grasp in this moment. To let go of the externals your mind is desperately latching onto in order to hold onto the false illusion of control and safety.
Remember, nothing rides on this.
In love and light,
Your wise self
© Jenny Brav