Love In Hindsight
Memories of you are on replay in my head
I miss how you’d hold me in our bed
when a nightmare shook me out of sleep
I miss your hands on my aching muscles,
how easily you fit in with my friends,
that you read everything I ever wrote.
I miss the sharpness of your mind,
your attention on me when I spoke.
I miss having you as my rock.
But am I missing you
or the idea of you?
Is this love in hindsight?
The photoshopped version
that filters out the ugly bits,
edits out the fights
the ways I was living
your life
not mine.
How little
space was left
for me.
Love in hindsight
which prefers fantasy
over reality,
the could’ve beens
to the what is
I want love in real time
where what I have is enough
where I can enjoy my current love
without comparison to past ones.
Where the present
doesn’t fall short
to the idea of you
and the idea of me,
my idea of how life and love
are supposed to be.